The happiness paradox: when wanting to feel good makes you feel worse
Four Photos of a Friend, Pat David
In Western culture, happiness is often touted as the ultimate goal. From childhood storybooks to national declarations, we're constantly reminded that happiness is something to be pursued and valued. However, research shows that there might be surprising downsides to placing too much emphasis on achieving happiness.
A 2014 study by Ford et al. titled "Desperately seeking happiness: valuing happiness is associated with symptoms and diagnosis of depression" reveals a counterintuitive finding: people who highly value happiness may be more vulnerable to depression.
What the research shows
The researchers examined two samples of participants in the United States. In the first study, they found that valuing happiness was associated with increased depressive symptoms in people diagnosed with remitted major depressive disorder (MDD). This relationship held even when controlling for factors like social desirability and neuroticism.
In the second study, they discovered that people with a history of depression placed a higher value on happiness compared to control participants without such history. This difference remained significant even when accounting for current depressive symptoms, general emotional values, and tendency toward extreme goal pursuit.
Why this happens
Why might valuing happiness lead to less happiness? The researchers suggest several mechanisms:
Unrealistic standards: Setting excessively high standards for happiness can lead to disappointment when those standards aren't met.
Emotional inflexibility: Rigidly pursuing happiness may contribute to disordered emotion regulation, which is linked to depression.
Decreased positive emotion: Experimental studies have shown that when people are induced to value happiness highly, they actually experience less positive emotion during positive events.
Finding a healthier approach
These findings don't mean we should abandon the pursuit of happiness altogether. Rather, they suggest a need for more balanced and flexible approaches:
Practice acceptance: Research on acceptance-based therapies suggests that accepting our emotions rather than rigidly striving for specific emotional states contributes to greater psychological health.
Value the full range of emotions: Recognize that all emotions serve a purpose and that a rich emotional life includes both pleasant and unpleasant feelings.
Focus on meaning: Instead of directly pursuing happiness, engage in meaningful activities and relationships that may naturally lead to well-being.
Set realistic expectations: Understand that constant happiness is neither realistic nor necessarily healthy.
Hope in perspective
This research offers a hopeful message: by releasing ourselves from the pressure to feel perpetually happy, we might actually increase our chances of experiencing genuine well-being. The path to psychological health isn't through rigidly pursuing happiness at all costs, but through developing a more flexible, accepting relationship with our full range of emotions.
As we navigate a culture that often equates success with happiness, we can take comfort in knowing that a more balanced approach—one that values our complete emotional experience—may be the wiser path forward.
Reference
Ford, B. Q., Shallcross, A. J., Mauss, I. B., Floerke, V. A., & Gruber, J. (2014). Desperately seeking happiness: Valuing happiness is associated with symptoms and diagnosis of depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 33(10), 890-905.